How are judgments formed?

Judgments are formed from differences. People are raised differently and see life through a different lens on account of what they are accustomed to. They are seeing situations through their own perception and this can bring on judgment.

For example, Ella and Maria are roommates in college. One day, Maria gets upset with Ella because she thinks that Ella is just too loud. Meanwhile Ella is upset with Maria because she thinks Maria is super quiet and expects everyone to maintain a lower noise level. Ella grew up in a big family that was noisy. In her family, Ella was considered the quiet one. Maria was an only child and grew up in a small family that was soft spoken. In her family, she was seen as the loud one. Both Maria and Ella see their upbringing as normal and therefore judge the other for being quieter or louder than their own personal standard.

When these misunderstandings occur, people start relating to the situation and usually think to themselves something along the lines of “I would never do that…” or “I don’t understand how someone could…”. In complete oneness, it is known that there is always a reason why people do what they do. When someone is unable to understand the actions of another, the universe automatically sets up a future scenario in which they can gain understanding through personal experience. It may happen directly to the person or to someone they love so they can learn acceptance.

For example, Fatima learns that her friend Constance has fallen in love with a married man. Upon hearing this, Fatima gets upset with Constance and yells, “I would never break up a family like you are doing!” Driving home, Fatima thinks to herself, “How can Constance live with herself after doing something that awful?” Fatima and Constance’s friendship falls apart. Many years later, Fatima’s daughter confides in her mom that her husband was still married during the first year that they dated. Fatima finds herself in a situation where she can’t just dismiss the daughter she loves, and instead is forced to learn acceptance.

When a person forms a judgment, they also take on guilt. They are usually not aware of this but their soul definitely is. This often results in people trying to use logic to negate that guilt. They sometimes do this by nitpicking on the other person in an effort to justify their own guilt for judging.

It’s OK to live your life with the values that you learned but it would be wise to understand that no two people are the same. If you take the time to truly understand a person’s full story, you will find that you would have done the same thing and made the same choices if you were living their life. Everyone always makes the best decisions that they are personally capable of making at that moment.