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Lessons in Life

How do I parent multiple kids with different personalities?

Parenting multiple children can be challenging. Each child likely has a different core ray and therefore requires a unique parenting style to fulfill their individual needs.

The first step is knowing yourself enough to not build any bias towards a child that may be different from you. They may be serving as a reflection for you and teaching you lessons in the process. Make sure that you provide what each child needs, while not feeling guilt towards the others. In life, your role as a parent is to ensure that you provide your child with both the positive and negative parts that they require to learn their individual lessons. Positive parts refer to the things that you want to do such as playing in a pool with them, and negative parts are the things you may not want to do such as punishing them. Every parent does the best they can while raising their children. Most try to be fair and precise while caring for their needs. What many fail to realize is that being fair isn’t necessarily what a child truly needs. What is required is unconditional love, which most parents are already ingrained with.

When parenting multiple children you don’t have to behave exactly the same with all of them or even keep the same rules since you are raising them as individuals and not a pack. At times they mature differently and require different sets of rules. They may enjoy different activities as well. One method that works well is to see what mood you are in and then engage in that activity with the child that shares the same interest. This is a great way to truly enjoy your time together. If you have a child who is into being popular, you could take them shopping for clothes or talk about their social life to spend some quality time with them. If you have another who is fascinated by books, you could take them to a bookstore or ask them to tell you about their favorite book series. The key is to be fair by making sure that the energy you give to one is also given to the others in a way that is right for each individual. This prevents a parent from developing guilt.

Your children are being raised to function in modern society and you were raised to function in the society the way it used to be. Get to know the different sides of yourself through your children. They may have different interests than you but that could be a great opportunity to learn how to appreciate those differences. Always remember that you are not trying to raise replicas of yourself. A parent’s role is not to live life for their child but rather to provide guidance to help your child grow in a way that’s right for them. If you were never the popular kid, and your kid is the popular kid, live vicariously through them. Some parents get jealous because they never got to be that growing up. If you were the popular kid, and your kid is the bookworm, live vicariously through them and learn about that part. Don’t show your children that you prefer one side to the next, even if you do. If you prefer spending time with one child versus another, don’t act extra excited to be with them. In private, you can be extra excited if you like. This will prevent you from feeling guilty for showing a preference to one child, which could then lead to subconsciously manifesting issues with the others. If one of your children says that you are being unfair, you were already feeling guilty about being unfair. In life, your internal feelings always come before the physical world gives you an external physical explanation for your feelings. True joy cannot be faked as children are wiser than you may think and have the ability to pickup on the energy fluctuations caused by your emotions.

Glancing at my hand,
while reading a book.
Sweet family thoughts,
simply overtook

All fingers are siblings,
from eldest to runt.
Each serving a purpose,
all forming a front

The thumb helps us grab,
and hold with a grip.
Without a strong thumb,
most objects will slip

The pointer is wise,
indexing my needs.
Scratching when in doubt,
pointing as I read.

The middle is feisty,
needs to be controlled.
It can be offensive,
when standing alone

Ring finger is pretty,
entranced by beauty.
Gaining most attention,
while carrying jewelry

The pinky a baby,
but helps gain control.
While holding a cup,
it often lets go

The hand is a unit,
close knit family.
All parts work together,
though truly unique.

– Mytika

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