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Lessons in Life

How do I go from a loser to a winner?

The terms “loser” and “winner” are completely based on your own perception. You are the one who defines what it means to be considered one or the other. If you see yourself as a loser, there are certain things you can do to change that.

First, you have to honestly evaluate your life and figure out why you would consider yourself a loser. You have to be real with yourself. What makes you feel like a loser? Write it down on a piece of paper. Some frequent factors that people express include physical possessions such as: finances, cars, physical fitness, job, clothing, etc… There are also those that look down on themselves due to lack of social acceptance, romantic partners, self-esteem, etc… At the end of the day, only you would know what makes you feel this way.

Second, admit to yourself that you feel like a loser. This feeling, that many would consider negative, can be the motivation you need to change your life.

Finally, take one step at a time to make yourself into a winner. If you have many factors that make you feel like a loser, tackle one at a time. Go for the simplest ones first because as you conquer them, your confidence will increase. As your confidence rises, your other goals become easier and more attainable. When you determine which one you will fix, ask yourself a couple questions. What are you going to do? How are you going to change it? Then do it.

For example, Ross feels like a loser because he doesn’t have a girlfriend, or friends for that matter. Ross decides that he’s going to change his perception around. He goes online and searches different interest groups where he can socialize with like-minded people. Ross then, pushes himself to start conversations, adding a few new friends every month. He soon meets Erica, who he considers to be very cool. Within 6 months, Ross is feeling much better. He has a new girlfriend and lots of like-minded new friends in his social circles. This makes his confidence go up and his feelings change where he now sees himself as a winner.

Another example is Eliot who feels like a loser because his house does not meet his expectation for what a winner’s house would be like. His house is dirty and while he wants a better one, he can’t afford to buy a new one. One day, Eliot decides that he’s tired of feeling the way he does. First, he dedicates a weekend to cleaning up his current home and donates things that he no longer needs. During the week, Eliot goes online and finds pictures of different interior design looks that he considers cool. The next weekend, he paints his walls and changes the pictures that he has hanging on the walls. Eliot decides he’s going to update his furniture every few months starting with his sofa. Within 6 months, Eliot feels much better about himself. He then decides to put away a little bit of money each month so that he knows that eventually he will be able to afford a better home that would make him feel even better. While Eliot’s plan would take him 5 years to save the amount he needs for a new house, he’s pleasantly surprised when he receives some unexpected money a year after he began saving.

If you have a large list of changes, you’ll be amazed how tackling one at a time can get you to your goal quickly. It gets easier with each one that you conquer because as your confidence increases, you feel worthy which then leads to positive subconscious manifestation.

The simple truth is that, no matter who you are, you are not a loser. You are always perfect for the life experience that you are living at the moment. If you believe in a perfect higher power, then you should understand that everything and everyone created by that higher power is perfect for their role as well. If you decide to change your life, then one day you will look back on your efforts and feel pride over what you have accomplished. Just remember, when you get to your goal, don’t judge others who don’t meet your expectations for what defines a winner. They are on their own path and will shine when the time is right for them, in the way that would make them feel better about themselves.

Born destined to fail
I run and I hide,
as I walk unseen
with no sense of pride.

My head always down
the sky is my floor,
no wish on a star
afraid to want more.

A future of trash
is all I can see,
must change things around
start betting on me.

This life is a book
my story the core,
I turn all the knobs
and open new doors.

– Mytika


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